Kamedy-Jokes

Definition for Global Warming

Princess Diana's death:-

"An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Duth Engine, a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky followed closely by Italian paparazzi, on Japanese moter cycles, treated by an American doctor, ushin Brazilian medicine and this definition published by Indian (I am) using Chinese computer, and this message will read by you"

This is new definition for Globalisation my friends......
plz leave ur comments

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never appears to have noticed that you actually set it free in the first place, You either married it or gave birth to it!

It's wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Shreveport. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager went up to Boudreaux and said "Thank you for your interest, but we' ve decided to give the local man the job." Boudreaux said "Why You gonna be doin dat sir, we both got 9 questions right?" The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one you missed." Boudreaux asked "An jus how da heck would one incorrect answer be mo betta dan da otter?"
The manager replied,

"Simple, the local man put down on question #5, 'I don't know,' you
put down, 'neither do I.'

A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him.The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?"The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor.""W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?"The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem.

""A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?""

Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."

Three expectant fathers, an American, a Jamaican, and a Canadian, were in the hospital waiting room. A doctor comes in and announces that he has some good news and some bad news, "The good news is that you each are the father of a healthy baby boy. The bad news is that we've mixed them up."The three new fathers walk into the nursery. The American guy goes right to the Jamaican baby, picks him up and starts rocking him."What are you doing?" the Jamaican guy asks, "That is obviously my son."

"I know," said the American guy, "but I didn't want to accidentally get the
Canadian kid."